Der Aunt Agony
Timothy Sturis

Der Aunt Agony, wont u plz help me?
I like to snd txt mssgs a lot
But when I do frnds gripe constantly
And say a grasp of gramar I hv nt.
But I dn.t get wher they com off to moan
Cuz I thnk I cn write and spel quit wel
And I know you;ll agre to chng their tone
UR my only ohope, signed 2 thumb Nell :)*
Dear Three Thumb Nell, Though it pains me to say
I’m not sure where I should even begin
I think you should throw your cell phone away
Because your use of English is a sin.
Instead you should read Elements of Style
And stop using punctuation to smile.