Chapter 1 - Family Commitments

1. How would you define "family"? Compare your definition to the authors'. In what ways do they differ?

2. What is the median age at first marriage for women? For men? How does this compare with the 1950s rate?

3. Of all births in the U.S. today what percent are to unmarried women? (What are the rates for African Americans and Hispanics?) What percent of marriages today are a remarriage for at least one of the partners?

4. In what years during this century did divorce rates peak? What percentage of men and women aged 18-24 live with their parents? How do you explain this? What percentage of households contain only one person?

5. What are the three ways in which social factors influence people's personal choices? Give an example of each.

6. What effects did the depression of the '30s, W.W.II, and the affluence of the '50s have on marriage patterns?

7. Describe a specific difference in family patterns found among Native Americans, Hispanics, Asian Americans, new immigrants and African Americans cited in the text.

8. How does social class influence marital values? Compare the blue collar/working class to the white collar/middle class cited in the
text.

9. Give an example of a difference in family norms found in the south and an example of how age expectations influence us.

10. What does choosing by default refer to? How does knowledgeable decision making differ from this and what specifically does it consist of? How might the consequences be different? Give an example of both from your own life.

11. In what two ways do families create a place to belong? Be specific

12. What are the four themes of the book? Which one do you think is the most important?

Chapter 2 - Exploring the Family
(pp. 33-39 and 43-50)

1. What are the "functions" of the family?

2. Describe some features of family life that Americans might take-for-granted but that don't necessarily occur in all cultures. (pp. 38-39)

3. What are the "blinders" of personal experience? Why are they a problem? How can they be overcome?

4. What methods of investigation are used by social scientists in studying the family?

5. Define the following terms:

extended family monogamy surveys
polygamy case studies experiment
longitudinal studies naturalistic observation

Chapter 3 - Our Gendered Identities

1. The text states that "…we are all gendered." What does this mean? Distinguish between sex and gender and between instrumental and expressive character traits.

2. Despite cultural differences, what is similar about most cultures' concept of masculinity? According to David and Brannon, how is this demonstrated? What is the main expectation of femininity?

3. Describe what male dominance refers to and describe how it is expressed. Give several examples.

4. Describe why the roles of men and women differed in foraging & hoe, agricultural and industrial societies. What is the ideology of "separate spheres" and why did it arise?

5. What does the text say about the role of culture vs. biology regarding gender roles? Give an example of a relationship found between testosterone and gender-related behavior. Give an example of one's environment influencing hormone levels.

6. Give an example of a cultural image in the media and language that help socialize individuals to expected gender attitudes and roles. Compare social learning theory and self-identification theory.

7. Describe Chodorow's theory of gender-role learning. How does it help to explain how and why men tend to develop autonomy and women a capacity for relatedness? What do you think of this?

8. Describe several ways in which boys and girls are treated differently in the family. How do their play and games differ? How does their treatment in schools differ? What are some specific examples of stressful effects of traditional gender roles on both women and men?

9. Why might there be different attitudes toward the feminist movement among white women and African American women. What do the terms "wild man" and "wild child" refer to?

10. What is androgyny and what are its advantages? Give examples of conflicting expectations we have for both men and for women today which can cause conflict for them.

Chapter 4 - Loving Ourselves and Others

1. What is the text's definition of love? What is the difference between legitimate and illegitimate needs? Why can illegitimate needs never be satisfied by a love relationship?

2. How are men and women socialized differently in ways that affect how they care for and love others?

3. What is Francesca Cancian's argument regarding men and love? What do you think?

4. What is the difference between sexual intimacy and psychic intimacy?

5. What are the three aspects of Sternberg's triangular theory of love? Which develops most quickly and which most slowly? Which fades fastest? Which is the factor most predictive of happiness in relationships? Why do you think this is so?

6. Describe Lee's six love styles (Eros, Storge, Pragma, Agape, Ludus, Mania) and decide which sounds most and least like your own. Describe why.

7. What do martyring, manipulating and self esteem refer to and what is their role, if any, in love?

8. What is the difference between self-love and narcissism? How is each related to a person's ability to love others?

9. Describe the differences between A-frame, H-frame and M-frame relationships.

10. According to Reiss' wheel theory, how do people stay in love?

MARRIAGE & THE FAMILY
STUDY GUIDE - UNIT 2 - Ch. 7, 8 & 9

Chapter 7 - Committing To Each Other

1. Describe what an arranged marriage consists of, in which, types of societies it is found and what its "functions" are.

2. Why and when did "love marriages" develop and what purpose do they serve in the absence of arranged marriages?

3. Explain why two aspects of courtship - getting to know each other better and gaining commitment to marriage - are potentially contradictory. How prevalent is imaging and how does it differ from intimacy? Compare dating and "getting together".

4. To what extent does violence exist in dating relationships? What sets off the violence? What does it consist of? And what effect does it have on the longevity of the relationship?

5. What percentage of dating couples have attitudes favoring equality in relationships? What percentage reported actually having an equal relationship? How was this difference explained in the text?

6. What explanations are given for why cohabitation does not necessarily produce higher rates of marital satisfaction/success?

7. How can you tell if someone is wrong for you? Do males or females initiate breakups more often? Why?

8. Using exchange theory compare the way we choose marriage partners with the process of a marketplace. What is the traditional exchange and how has it changed? Why do women in the marriage market tend to be more serious "shoppers" than men? Why can men take longer to "shop" than women?

9. What do the terms marriage gradient and homogamy refer to? Give four reasons why people are likely to be homogamous. What difficulties are people in heterogamous relationships likely to face?

10. Are marriages that are homogamous in age, education, religion and race more stable than heterogamous ones? Why or why not? Why might this be changing?

11. Marrying before age 20 is a significant predictor of divorce. Why? What is the most commonly cited reason for conflict in these relationships? what four elements of maturity does David Knox see as important for marital stability?

12. Describe the problematic and more positive reasons for marrying and how each relates to marital success.

Chapter 8 - Marriage: A Unique Relationship

1. Does your family have any "virtual kin"? Who makes up your family of orientation? Do you have a family of procreation?

2. The saying that "blood is thicker than water" means that which relationships are more binding? (Consanguineous or conjugal?) Which would be included in "la familia"?

3. How do utilitarian and intrinsic marriages differ from each other? Though real life marriages fall somewhere on a continuum between the two, which type of marriages do you see more of among your family/friends?

4. Describe each of Cuber & Harroff's five marriage types: Conflict-Habituated, Devitalized, Passive-Congenial, Vital and Total. Try to think of an example of each of these among people you know. Which sounds the best to you and which sounds the worst? Why?

5. What do you think of Sidney Jourard's description of his marriage? What do you think his point is? What is a "covenant marriage" and what are the arguments for and against it?

6. Regarding polygamy, sexually open marriage and same-sex marriage - should individuals have the right to marry whom they please and to structure their marriage the way they please? What is the current legal standing on polygamy and on same-sex marriage?

7. What are Americans' attitudes toward extramarital sex? What are the rates of extramarital sex for husbands and for wives? Describe the reasons for extramarital sex and the effects of extramarital sex on marriage.

8. What is jealousy and what is its role in "protecting" marriage? What conditions do therapists say have to be met for a marriage to successfully survive an extramarital affair?

9. Why is premarital counseling recommended and what are the issues confronting couples in the first years of marriage? How can social class influence how utilitarian or intrinsic ones marriage is?

10. What is the difference between static and flexible marriages?

11. What reasons do the authors give for writing a marriage agreement? What is your opinion on this?

Chapter 9 - Communication & Conflict Management

1. Describe the terms attribution and consensual validation and what role they play in the power that families have over their members.

2. Describe in what way families have negative power (gaslighting, scapegoating) and what the antidotes to it are.

3. What does the conflict taboo refer? Describe what the results of denying conflict are. (anger insteads, passive aggression, devitalized marriage)

4. What did John Gottman find in his research on conflict and anger in relationships? Describe the "four horsemen of the apocalypse". Have you seen/experienced any of these in your relationships?

5. What gender differences are there in couple communication according to Gottman and Tannen? What can couples do to manage conflict in relationships and avoid the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?

6. Describe the guidelines for bonding fights. How do you go about changing the way you fight in a relationship? Take several of the suggestions given and try using them in a relationship you are presently in.

7. What are the six qualities of "strong families" described by Stinnett?

MARRIAGE & THE FAMILY
STUDY GUIDE - UNIT 3 Ch. 10, 11, 12 & 13

Chapter 10 - Power and Violence in Marriages and Families

1. What is power? Describe each of the six power bases described in the text. Can you give an example of any of these from your own family? What type of power does an English speaking child in an immigrant family have? (pg. 288)

2. What is the Resource Hypothesis and the criticisms of it? How does gender influence access to resources?

3. What type of power is significant in many immigrant families regardless of resources? Are most American marriages traditional patriarchies? Are most egalitarian? Then what determines marital power?

4. According to the text, why is black matriarchy a myth? Why did the concept develop?

5. What is the relative love and need theory/principle of least interest?

6. In what area do women have the most power? What does micromanipulation refer to?
7. According to the test, what effect do power disparities have on intimacy in relationships? How can equalization of marital power of men and women occur?

8. What does Blumstein and Schwartz's study of four types of couples (heterosexual married and cohabiting and gay and lesbian couples) tell us about power in relationships?

9. What suggestions are offered by the text to get away from power politics in marriage? How likely do you think it is for a couple to develop a no-power relationship? what are some of the difficulties that you see in trying to develop such a relationship?

10. How does the chapter's discussion of power in relationships help explain spousal abuse? Be familiar with the three-phase cycle of domestic violence. Why do husbands do it? Why do wives put up with it? What's the way out?

11. What has been the effect on wife abuse of the increasing independence of women? What is different about women's abuse of husbands vs. men's abuse of wives? Explain some similarities and differences between same-sex couple violence and heterosexual couple violence.

12. Why have the perceptions of what constitutes child abuse changed? What is the distinction between child abuse and child neglect? What conditions can encourage even well-intentioned parents to mistreat their children?

13. What are the risk factors for child abuse and what are the differences between the punitive and the therapeutic approaches to combating child abuse?

Chapter 11 - To Parent Or Not To Parent

1. What are the main reasons why overall fertility (birth) rates have declined in the U.S.? Explain why there are differences in fertility (birth rates) among different groups.

2. What is the value and cost of raising children today? How has this changed from the role of children in traditional society?

3. How do children affect marital happiness? Marital Stability? (hint: these are not the same) When do couples report the highest levels of marital happiness?

4. The U.S. has the highest rate of teen pregnancy, abortion, and birthrates of any industrialized country. Why do you think this is so? What is the effect of teen parenting on the child? On the teen parent?

5. What does paradoxical pregnancy refer to? Who is more likely to use contraception?

Chapter 12 - Parents and Children

1. What are the reasons described in the text for why parenting can be a frustrating experience today? Ask your own parents or a parent you know what is frustrating about being a parent. See if it is included in the list of eight given in the text.

2. How does social class and racial diversity make a difference in parenting styles? What are the special concerns or issues at each class level? Be specific.

3. How common is parenting among gay and lesbian couples? What has research found regarding the sexual orientation and general adjustment of children of homosexual parents?

4. What special issues arise for parents of young adult children? What suggestions are given for parents and their children when young adults are living in the home?

5. Contrast the laissez-faire, authoritarian and democratic authoritative methods of discipline. Were/are your parents pals, martyrs, police officers, teacher/counselors or coaches as they raised you? See the text's descriptions of these.

6. According to the text, is spanking ever appropriate? When should children never be spanked according to the 1996 American Academy of Pediatrics?

7. What suggestions are given in the text to improve parent-child communication? (pp. 390-391)

8. What did Abel find regarding the years women spend caring for elders vs. young children? Where do parents over the age of 65 prefer to live in relation to their children?

9. Grandparents are most actively involved with what aged grandchildren? How do black grandparents differ from white grandparents in their relationships to their grandchildren? What percentage of children under the age of 18 are living in the home of their grandparents?

10. Studies have found that good parenting involves what three factors? What else do parents need to do in order to feel successful in their parenting?

Chapter 13 - Work and Family

1. How did Industrialization change the concept of work? When did the concept of the "good provider" role emerge? What are its rewards and costs?

2. Why is the role of homemaker a relatively new one and why does it have low status? What percentage of married women are full-time homemakers today? How may that experience be different for women of Mexican ethnic identity vs. Anglo women? What is the critical difference between full-time homemakers who enjoy their work and those who don't? What is the biggest stress reported by full-time homemakers?
3. Describe an advantage and disadvantage of each of the work/caregiver options: two-career marriages, part-time employment, shift work, home-based work, leaving the labor force and reentry. Which women are most likely to quickly reenter the labor force after the birth of a child?

4. What is a "kin-keeper" and who is most likely to do it and why?

5. What percentage of household work is done by employed wives? By employed husbands? How does the importance of a wife's earnings to the family influence the amount of household work her husband does? What is the "second shift?"

6. Why is housework interesting to social scientists? Who does it and why? (ideological, rational investment & resource hypothesis perspectives)

7. What has research found to be the effect on children of mothers' working outside the home? What suggestions are given by Dr. Brazelton for busy parents?

8. What are the advantages and disadvantages of two career families? Of commuter marriages?

9. What are the main sources of parental stress regarding child care? What is the effect of day care on children according to research cited by Belsky, Chira and Lewin?

10. According to Felice Schwartz, what corporate changes are needed to resolve work-family conflicts encountered by two-earner and single-parent families?

11. How does U.S. family policy differ from that in northwestern European countries? What would family-friendly workplace policies consist of?

12. How is a couple to maintain intimacy while negotiating the second shift? Be specific.

MARRIAGE & THE FAMILY
STUDY GUIDE - UNIT 4 - Ch. 14, 15 & 16

Chapter 14 - Family Stress & Crises

1. Define family stress, crisis and transition. What types of stressors are there? How likely is a family to face stress, crises or transition?

2. Compare the transitions of the sandwich generation, postparental period, retirement and death of a family member. What are the similarities and differences? What factors would encourage adjustment to each transition? What factors would inhibit adjustment?

3. Describe the course of a family crisis. What is the period of disorganization in a family crisis situation? How can this phase of a crisis pull a family apart? How can it bring a family together?

4. Discuss the factors that influence how family members appraise a crisis. How does the family's appraisal relate to the members' ability to adjust to the crisis?

5. What factors help some families recover from crisis while others remain in the disorganization phase? (resilient, vulnerable families)

6. What does meeting a crisis creatively mean and what are the determining factors for doing so? What are the advantages and disadvantages of relying on help from an extended family?

Chapter 15 - Divorce

1. According to the text, why are more couples divorcing today? What is the effect of education and income on the likelihood of divorce? The effect of women's employment? Why? Of men's participation in household tasks?

2. Describe how marital partners may weigh marital happiness. What effect do children have on marital stability?
3. What are common marital complaints? What is the relationship of marriage and divorce to happiness?

4. Describe what constitutes the emotional, legal, community and psychic divorce. How might each be made less difficult? What is divorce mediation?

5. What are the economic consequences of divorce on families, husbands and wives?

6. Describe the economic and emotional effects of divorce on children. What did Judith Wallerstein find in her research?

7. What are the five general reasons for negative effects of divorce on children?

8. What percentage of divorcing couples have children under the age of 18? What is the experience of the noncustodial or visiting parent? What are the advantages and disadvantages of joint custody? What do policy experts tend to recommend?

9. How is "his" divorce different from "her" divorce? Why?

10. In the text's discussion of whether divorce is necessarily bad for children, what do they point to as the real cause of negative outcomes for children?

Chapter 16 - Remarriages

1. What percentage of divorced people remarry? How soon after divorce?

2. How is courtship before remarriage similar to and different from courtship before first marriage?

3. What are the economic effects of remarriage on men? On women? How homogamous are remarriages compared to first marriages? Why?

4. How stable and how happy are remarriages compared to first marriages?

5. In what way has the nuclear family had a kind of "model monopoly" and what effect has this had? Why are kin networks and family law of special concern?

6. Why is step-parenting especially difficult? What are the special problems for stepmother? Stepfather? What are some step-parenting tips offered by the text?

7. What are some reasons for writing a personal remarriage agreement?