I awoke that morning ready for battle. I left my house ready for battle. I arrived at work ready for battle. I walked into the break room ready for battle.

It was 9AM. It was me versus Jack, Jack versus me. My arch rival every day at this time. The villain of my thoughts and the bane of my existence and I of his. It all rested on this battle. This moment.

I rounded the corner of the break room to seize my prize. The lone Costco blueberry muffin freshly baked from the Costco ovens just an hour before that sat atop a pile of less tasty and poorly made pastries. I could taste the muffin's sweet blueberries in my mouth already. I could smell the muffin bread as I moved ever closer.

But there he was.

From the other side of the room entered Jack who saw my prize. I could tell he was imagining eating my blueberries in that muffin. He was smelling the same muffin smell I had been smelling.

There were knives, forks, pitchers, a refrigerator and some vending machines in the room and all of them raced through my mind as ways I could use them as weapons to win my battle with Jack.

Jack moved closer to the muffins. I moved closer. Each of us looking at the muffin, almost yelling at each other with our muffin stares that we were each claiming that glorious fresh muffin as our own. We each knew what the other wanted. We each knew how this would go. We each knew what rested on this victory.

I reached for that amazing muffin. He reached for the same muffin.

“Oh, sorry.” Jack said, “You can have it.”

Bastard! Now he thinks he's better than me for letting me have it!

A crowd of fellow office workers were also entering the room. They could feel the tension emanating from the situation. They wanted to see the showdown. They wanted blood.

The desire to grab the muffin for myself and run out the door screaming and yelling that I've won crossed my mind.

“Jack, don't worry about it. If you really want it, you can have it. It's fine with me.” I say.

I'm such a pussy. I should have just taken it.

“Oh, well, if it's really okay with you, I guess I will.” Jack says and picks up the blueberry Costco muffin.

Again! He wins again! How did this happen! Tomrrow! Tomorrow I'll just take it and run from the room shouting my victory to the ceiling. Never more will I lose my lone blueberry muffin!

I looked back at the plate of lesser pastries and there I see it. The Costco chocolate muffin. That glorious chocolate muffin.

Marcus enters the room and looks at the Costco Chocolate muffin as well. We both know what the other is thinking.