Good evening

Our specials tonight include

A butter-nut squash soup

With an Irish liqueur crème fraiche.

Yes, there is cream in the soup.

Panko fried tiger prawns

Will be the salad special

Served with an orange-sesame

And a Thai-nut peanut sauce.

No, you should not order this

If you are allergic to nuts.

The Mesquite Special tonight

Is my personal favorite.

A breaded veal paillard

Served with steamed arrugula

And tomato risotto.

The lemon-butter feurre-blanc sauce

Is a perfect accent

To this meat special

And may I recommend a Merlot?

Yes, we have Budweiser.

Yes, we can make a hamburger.

Our burger beef is imported

From New Zealand

Or rather: Middle Earth.

We serve with caramelized onions

Apple-smoked bacon

Smoked mozzarella

Grain Dijon mustard

And French fries.

Yes, we have freedom fries.

Very funny.

We shall put the cheese

The onions, the bacon, and the mustard

On the side

If you don’t want them

Don’t fucking eat them.