“Christmas Party Sestina”

Michelle Velarde

Red and green lights twinkle in the full-length mirror

Where a woman stands sideways, sucking in her stomach.

Ungracefully, she twists in stiletto heels, examining her butt.

It sags a bit, but control-top pantyhose will lift the fat

Into a firm apple shape. Now what to do about those breasts?

Nothing is quite as complicated as dressing for a Christmas party.

A tall man in pinstripes and pinched lips is afraid they’ll miss the party.

She sees his impatient stare in the background of her mirror.

“Honey, I think this dress flattens my breasts.

Then again,” she reconsiders, “the black shrinks my stomach.”

“I don’t care what you wear. Enough obsessing about fat.”

He gives her a polite pinch on the butt.

The leather in his Cadillac is cool against the thin velvet covering her butt.

The street’s a Christmas-carol wonderland on the way to the party.

Snowmen and Santa Clause statues smile, jolly and fat,

While small motorized elves dance rickety in the rear-view mirror.

A serene white angel holds a cool candle in front of her stomach.

Her dress, shiny glittery satin, clings to her shapely, perfect breasts.

The woman cups her cup-size B breasts.

If only she could enlarge them with excess fat from her butt.

Soon, too many sugar plums churn in her stomach

As he pulls up to the Christmas party.

She double-checks her red lipstick in the car mirror,

Smoothes her dress into place, glad that black hides fat.

The wives of the other lawyers are well-dressed but fat,

The woman notes, and instantly feels confident about her breasts.

She drinks eggnog, converses wittingly—never stops to look for a mirror.

When nobody is looking, the man rubs her butt

Whispering that in just a few minutes they’ll leave the party.

She smiles seductively, while rum cake and red wine delight in her stomach.

But when a personified Barbie woman walks in, the giddiness stops in her stomach.

Her boobs are huge, her legs slender like five foot candy-canes, no fat

Is visible anywhere. So cruel is the man who brought this woman to the party!

When the men shake her hand, they stare like hungry infants at her breasts.

And when the woman is introduced, she feels five pounds added to her butt.

Quickly, she regrets denying her good friend, the mirror.

So while the guests exchange white elephant gifts, the woman finds a mirror

In the bathroom. She sees a devastating pantyline cutting across her not-Barbie butt.

However, after noticing the toilet paper, she thoughtfully eyes her breasts.